Sharon Osbourne Fellates

There have been a few things invented and concocted during dreams. Notably, Frankenstein was inspired by one of Mary Shelleys dreams. ‘Yesterday’, the most covered song in history came to Macca in a dream, as did The Terminator for James Cameron. The sewing machine, benzene and the double helix structure of DNA all came to folk in dreams.

I had a dream about being a contestant in the X-Factor and I got all the way to the semi finals.  They wanted me to sing a Beyonce song but I didn't know any, so I had to pull out and I thought it was so unfair.  I explained this to Sharon Osbourne and she also thought it was unfair so as a way of saying sorry she gave me a blow job.  'Twilight' was also conceived in a dream, but to be frank I think my dream deserves a film series more than that crap did.

When I was 12ish I solved the Rubik’s Snake puzzle in a dream. OK, it’s not quite as impressive as solving the cube but I was impressed. The other night I had another dream revelation. I had posted the following photo on Facebook with the simple caption “Toes complete with Peas”, but when I dreamt my dream state refused it as there was an obvious and brilliant caption to the image.

"Heads, Shoulders, Peas and Toes!"