Got M&M's Up The Nose
I was having a quick shower the other morning when the door burst open and Darwin came in. This is never a good thing. That particular bathroom doesn’t have windows and Darwin knows it. He has learned that if he turns the light off and closes the bathroom door the room essentially turns into a dark room. Coupled together with our shower sounding like a small motorbike it turns a potentially pleasurable shower experience into a Guantanamo torture session with sensory deprivation and waterboarding.
Fortunately for me he wasn’t up to his normal tricks. He said something which I had no chance of hearing and went away, but during his communique I did notice that he had some pen like substance on his face.
I ended my shower prematurely and went to see what was going on. It transpires that he had stuck 2 blue M&M’s up his nose, managed to get 1 out but the other was stuck. He was both giggling and panicking slightly. I removed the offending sweet and spent a while trying to remove blue dye from his nasal passages. “Don’t tell Mummy” he begged.
The problem about not telling Mummy is that it doesn’t work. Darwin & I haven’t reached that stage in our lives where we can keep stuff from her yet. If I didn’t tell her then he definitely would tell her and then there’d be hell to pay. She would think I was covering it up and consequently there must be a reason to why I was covering it up! Maybe I stuck the sweets up there! Maybe I fired them there using an M&M gun! So I told her. When she quizzed him about it he looked at me and said, “Did you tell Mummy?”, I felt I had betrayed him.
We did have a discussion about not putting stuff up your nose and he was panicked enough to understand I think. However it did feel a tiny bit ironic, me who had previously got a ball bearing stuck up my arse telling someone not to stick M&M’s up their nose!
Fortunately for me he wasn’t up to his normal tricks. He said something which I had no chance of hearing and went away, but during his communique I did notice that he had some pen like substance on his face.
I ended my shower prematurely and went to see what was going on. It transpires that he had stuck 2 blue M&M’s up his nose, managed to get 1 out but the other was stuck. He was both giggling and panicking slightly. I removed the offending sweet and spent a while trying to remove blue dye from his nasal passages. “Don’t tell Mummy” he begged.
The problem about not telling Mummy is that it doesn’t work. Darwin & I haven’t reached that stage in our lives where we can keep stuff from her yet. If I didn’t tell her then he definitely would tell her and then there’d be hell to pay. She would think I was covering it up and consequently there must be a reason to why I was covering it up! Maybe I stuck the sweets up there! Maybe I fired them there using an M&M gun! So I told her. When she quizzed him about it he looked at me and said, “Did you tell Mummy?”, I felt I had betrayed him.
We did have a discussion about not putting stuff up your nose and he was panicked enough to understand I think. However it did feel a tiny bit ironic, me who had previously got a ball bearing stuck up my arse telling someone not to stick M&M’s up their nose!
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