Called someone other than my son, "Son"
The other week we met up with Sarah & Family and we ended up in a bike shop. I might be slowly coming round to the idea of getting a bike, but it is very slowly. So I understand that times have changed since I got my 5 speed Viking Warlord racer back in 1984 but how much it had changed I really wasn’t prepared for.
Honestly, Eff Me! How much do bikes cost nowadays? I was expecting anything up to £300 but I didn’t see anything near to that price. Most of them cost similar to what you would expect to pay for an automobile or a microlight off eBay! “But they come already set up and configured” I heard someone say. WHAT?? What does that mean? How much work is it to get the seat at the right height and pump the tyres up?
Any road, shortly after we went to Halfords and the prices of the bikes there were a bit more ‘real’. But I wasn’t looking for me, it was for Darwin. I put him on a few bikes in the shop and he rode around with surprising dexterity and quickly learned what brakes were for. After about half an hour we decided to buy him one. We checked helmets and pads and mildly excited I went to the counter and asked to buy the 14” Mongoose Scan. “I’ll have to order it in” the man told me. “It’ll be in and ready to collect on Tuesday”. WTF is the point of that? I could go on the website and order it to be delivered to my house for Monday. “Do you have any bikes in stock?” I asked. “No” was the reply.
Un-f*cking-believable! In this day and age when shops need to compete with the internet surely keeping a very small amount of stock in the shop for customers to buy “NOW!” would be a massive advantage over internet shopping. Having shown my arse (so to speak) I said “Forget it, I’ll get it off the internet” and stormed off.
When we got home Grandad Pete said he would like to pay for the bike and handed over the money. ‘Shit’, now this meant I had to get one! So I jumped on Google only to find that the Mongoose Scan, Darwin’s bike of choice, is specific to Halfords. The following week I went in once again and ordered the bike, again to be told that the bike would be ready to collect on the following Tuesday.
I got Darwin all excited on Tuesday explaining that we would be picking up his new bike tonight and he was very much looking forward to it. When we entered the shop I declared why I was here and was told, “O. It doesn’t look like it’s come in. It must have been because of the Bank Holiday”. “WHAT?” I asked. “Does this happen every Bank Holiday?”. I was prepared to get thrown out of the shop from here on.
“What separates you from the Internet?” I asked. “It’s the fact that I’m able to come in and feel the goods with the potential to order desired items immediately without waiting. If you don’t have the goods in it’s pointless.” Darwin’s little voice chirped, “Is my bike ready daddy?” My heart sank and my anger raged. “Now I have to let my boy down because of your incompetence. When is the next delivery? And don’t say Tuesday!”. “Thursday”, the man with the unkempt hair told me. “And how likely will that be since you’ve let me down already?”. “About 90%” he replied. I lost it again, “Are you having a f*cking laugh? I expected you to say 100%. I gave you a choice of saying 100% and you chose 90%. You’re not filling me with confidence here son!”. That’s the first time I’ve ever called anyone ‘son’ and it made me laugh and feel a bit more relaxed. So I agreed to wait until Thursday, at least they would build it for free.
Thursday came and I received a call in the afternoon from the man I had spoken to on my last visit. “I’m afraid to say that the bike hasn’t come in yet” he told me. I asked him to hold the line whilst I closed my office door and proceeded to eff and jeff big time. I didn’t care now if I got the bike I just needed to vent. Other people would have put the phone down on me but he held on and eventually asked what he could do to appease the situation. “I need free stuff”, I said and he agreed.
He called me again an hour later and said the bike had come in and I told him that I still needed free stuff. When I collected the bike he presented me with a £5 helmet, I in turn said “No” and presented him with a £20 helmet and he agreed. I left the store with some admiration for man.
Darwin in now getting to grips with pedalling fast and using brakes.
Honestly, Eff Me! How much do bikes cost nowadays? I was expecting anything up to £300 but I didn’t see anything near to that price. Most of them cost similar to what you would expect to pay for an automobile or a microlight off eBay! “But they come already set up and configured” I heard someone say. WHAT?? What does that mean? How much work is it to get the seat at the right height and pump the tyres up?
Any road, shortly after we went to Halfords and the prices of the bikes there were a bit more ‘real’. But I wasn’t looking for me, it was for Darwin. I put him on a few bikes in the shop and he rode around with surprising dexterity and quickly learned what brakes were for. After about half an hour we decided to buy him one. We checked helmets and pads and mildly excited I went to the counter and asked to buy the 14” Mongoose Scan. “I’ll have to order it in” the man told me. “It’ll be in and ready to collect on Tuesday”. WTF is the point of that? I could go on the website and order it to be delivered to my house for Monday. “Do you have any bikes in stock?” I asked. “No” was the reply.
Un-f*cking-believable! In this day and age when shops need to compete with the internet surely keeping a very small amount of stock in the shop for customers to buy “NOW!” would be a massive advantage over internet shopping. Having shown my arse (so to speak) I said “Forget it, I’ll get it off the internet” and stormed off.
When we got home Grandad Pete said he would like to pay for the bike and handed over the money. ‘Shit’, now this meant I had to get one! So I jumped on Google only to find that the Mongoose Scan, Darwin’s bike of choice, is specific to Halfords. The following week I went in once again and ordered the bike, again to be told that the bike would be ready to collect on the following Tuesday.
I got Darwin all excited on Tuesday explaining that we would be picking up his new bike tonight and he was very much looking forward to it. When we entered the shop I declared why I was here and was told, “O. It doesn’t look like it’s come in. It must have been because of the Bank Holiday”. “WHAT?” I asked. “Does this happen every Bank Holiday?”. I was prepared to get thrown out of the shop from here on.
“What separates you from the Internet?” I asked. “It’s the fact that I’m able to come in and feel the goods with the potential to order desired items immediately without waiting. If you don’t have the goods in it’s pointless.” Darwin’s little voice chirped, “Is my bike ready daddy?” My heart sank and my anger raged. “Now I have to let my boy down because of your incompetence. When is the next delivery? And don’t say Tuesday!”. “Thursday”, the man with the unkempt hair told me. “And how likely will that be since you’ve let me down already?”. “About 90%” he replied. I lost it again, “Are you having a f*cking laugh? I expected you to say 100%. I gave you a choice of saying 100% and you chose 90%. You’re not filling me with confidence here son!”. That’s the first time I’ve ever called anyone ‘son’ and it made me laugh and feel a bit more relaxed. So I agreed to wait until Thursday, at least they would build it for free.
Thursday came and I received a call in the afternoon from the man I had spoken to on my last visit. “I’m afraid to say that the bike hasn’t come in yet” he told me. I asked him to hold the line whilst I closed my office door and proceeded to eff and jeff big time. I didn’t care now if I got the bike I just needed to vent. Other people would have put the phone down on me but he held on and eventually asked what he could do to appease the situation. “I need free stuff”, I said and he agreed.
He called me again an hour later and said the bike had come in and I told him that I still needed free stuff. When I collected the bike he presented me with a £5 helmet, I in turn said “No” and presented him with a £20 helmet and he agreed. I left the store with some admiration for man.
Darwin in now getting to grips with pedalling fast and using brakes.
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