This is the Ageeeee...of the Train

I don't think I'll ever get over Jimmy Savile being a massive paedo!  That's what I was thinking as I was hurtling towards London on the fastest train ever.  The "This is the age of the train" saying/song from the 80's is now the equivalent of listening to "Do you wanna be in my gang" by G Glitter.  And to be honest the 80's weren't the age of the train, that was from about 1830 onwards!

The last time I remember going to London on the train was back in 1980, when you could open the windows and lean out of them, or have a fag in the smoking carriage.  Now I was sat in the Quiet carriage where people are asked not to use their phones and you're allowed to look at people sternly if they eat a packet of crisps or fart.

But the most notable thing for me was the speed and tiltiness of the train.  At points I was concerned that the driver had had a heart attack and just slumped forwards onto the accelerator lever.  During these moments I calculated that the safest place to be would be the back of the carriage, this would allow for a crumple zone in the forward section.

I'm getting old.

"Trains n that"

"Is the Driver Dead?"