Turn That Telly Down You Prick
It’s amazing the amount of crap you accumulate over the years isn’t it?
So we finally sold the house! We actually sold it over a year ago to a chap nearly in his seventies. The survey was completed and then just before we agreed on a date the sale fell through because the guy pulled out. His mother had died and he thought the whole moving process would be too stressful for him. His mother must have only of been in her nineties so it was probably a massive shock. I presume it may have been one of the extreme sports that she was doing that killed her, base jumping, free diving or high altitude mountain climbing that all the 90 year olds get up to nowadays!!!
A year later we sold again, and despite our buyers buyers pulling out at the last minute, they sold again and the sale went through.
I’ve been in the house for nearly 15 years now and it has served me well. It was OK when I was a single guy but as soon as Kerry moved in the house got a hell of a lot smaller. As soon as Darwin came along it got even tinier. The population of the street increased and I started to feel more and more claustrophobic. The neighbours have the same size house but in contains 6 people and a fat dog, I struggle to breathe at the thought of it! And I had never wanted a garden in the past but now I do. I would much rather Darwin play in a garden rather than on the road.
So we’re moving from a town with a population of 23,000 to a village with much less than 3,000. The rivers are clean, the air is fresh and the space is plentiful. The children are polite, the adults are pleasant and the graffiti and dog crap are virtually non-existent. In fact our barn is bigger than our last house!
We’ve been living in a house full of boxes for a while now and I’ve learnt why people use the clichéd phrase, “Moving is the most stressful thing you will do”. The other night Kerry had put Darwin to bed and fell asleep herself. When she awoke an hour later she was her usual grumpy sleepy self. She is far worse than Darwin when he’s tired and grumpy, at least he doesn’t eff and jeff! She came downstairs and had a go because I had left a cup on the table and then she grabbed a bottle of water and went straight to bed. I know far too well not to engage in conversation when she’s like this.
Luckily this gave me the rare opportunity to have the TV to myself. I could watch something that I was interested in rather than ‘mutual TV’. I paused the TV and went to pour myself a whisky and prepared myself a late night snack. When I returned I checked my email and looked at what was going down on Facebook. 10 minutes had past when Kerry shouted down, “Michael, turn that telly down you prick”. The TV had been silent since she ascended the stairs! I spent the next half hour positioned 12 inches away from our 42” TV wearing head phones. The next day she didn’t remember saying anything, she was telling me off in her sleep.
So we finally sold the house! We actually sold it over a year ago to a chap nearly in his seventies. The survey was completed and then just before we agreed on a date the sale fell through because the guy pulled out. His mother had died and he thought the whole moving process would be too stressful for him. His mother must have only of been in her nineties so it was probably a massive shock. I presume it may have been one of the extreme sports that she was doing that killed her, base jumping, free diving or high altitude mountain climbing that all the 90 year olds get up to nowadays!!!
A year later we sold again, and despite our buyers buyers pulling out at the last minute, they sold again and the sale went through.
I’ve been in the house for nearly 15 years now and it has served me well. It was OK when I was a single guy but as soon as Kerry moved in the house got a hell of a lot smaller. As soon as Darwin came along it got even tinier. The population of the street increased and I started to feel more and more claustrophobic. The neighbours have the same size house but in contains 6 people and a fat dog, I struggle to breathe at the thought of it! And I had never wanted a garden in the past but now I do. I would much rather Darwin play in a garden rather than on the road.
So we’re moving from a town with a population of 23,000 to a village with much less than 3,000. The rivers are clean, the air is fresh and the space is plentiful. The children are polite, the adults are pleasant and the graffiti and dog crap are virtually non-existent. In fact our barn is bigger than our last house!
We’ve been living in a house full of boxes for a while now and I’ve learnt why people use the clichéd phrase, “Moving is the most stressful thing you will do”. The other night Kerry had put Darwin to bed and fell asleep herself. When she awoke an hour later she was her usual grumpy sleepy self. She is far worse than Darwin when he’s tired and grumpy, at least he doesn’t eff and jeff! She came downstairs and had a go because I had left a cup on the table and then she grabbed a bottle of water and went straight to bed. I know far too well not to engage in conversation when she’s like this.
Luckily this gave me the rare opportunity to have the TV to myself. I could watch something that I was interested in rather than ‘mutual TV’. I paused the TV and went to pour myself a whisky and prepared myself a late night snack. When I returned I checked my email and looked at what was going down on Facebook. 10 minutes had past when Kerry shouted down, “Michael, turn that telly down you prick”. The TV had been silent since she ascended the stairs! I spent the next half hour positioned 12 inches away from our 42” TV wearing head phones. The next day she didn’t remember saying anything, she was telling me off in her sleep.
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