Christmas with the Sartoris

I'm quite indifferent to Christmas, or at least I used to be. I get excited for Piggy now. And it isn't just the present giving stuff, I get excited about the whole experience, the family visits, the dressing up nice (other folk mainly, not me), even other folks kids.

The first get together was with Bev and Carlo. Bev had tits like Mrs Brown and after asking "what's going on with yer tits Bev?" I sincerely hoped that they were a comedy set of tits rather than a Christmas tit job present off Carlo. They were a feature of her Christmas jumper. Carlo had roasted a gammon joint and this officially kicked Christmas off for me. It's a marmite meat for me gammon, those people who boil it and decorate it with pineapple are fucking mental, but Carlo's offering of pink tender meat adorned with charred flesh was spectacular. Leah & Shnai were there to provide Darwin with an extraordinarily amount of hugs and kisses. The kids then kicked the fuck out of a piñata.

I was then asked to open a Christmas present. The gift was a small interactive  book about a small penis that encourages the reader to put their finger into a tiny penis puppet when they read the story. Shnai read it to Darwin who got very excited and giddy and started to grab and bite the in't penis.

Carlo asked Bev to marry him shortly afterwards, she agreed. No wonder with his big and juicy meat.