Sweet Hot Beaver
Kerry and I shop in completely different ways.
“Take a look in the kitchen and make a list”, she says before I embark on a shopping trip. Quizzically I ask, “What am I looking at?”, “All the things we don’t have”, her temper already starting to reveal itself. She’s very intolerant of me sometimes. “How the fuck can I look at the stuff we don’t have?”, I say whilst pushing my bottom lip out with my tongue. We call this a ‘belm’ up north.
OK, I agree that I should just skim the cupboards and fridge to see what we do have, no-one wants to end up with 24 eggs to eat in a week, I’m not Rocky Balboa FFS, but I go shopping and let myself be influenced by the products. I told her this and she replied, “Influenced? You’re not fucking Gustav Klimt!”. She can be a bit of a potty mouth too! But, to explain my point, I bought an aubergine for the first time the other day, and a leek, simply by letting myself be influenced. (Not too sure what I’m going to do with them yet!)
The other big difference is she looks at stuff for hours. If she gets a choice of products that she wants to buy she virtually play ‘Top Trumps’ with their ingredients. I see something that fits the bill I do the same thing that any working class person masquerading as middle class does when they choose wine from the wine list, I never choose the cheapest, I choose 2 or 3 up from the cheapest. However, if Darwin and I aren’t messing about I like to rearrange food to it displays a cheeky message.
This week in Tesco I found...
“Take a look in the kitchen and make a list”, she says before I embark on a shopping trip. Quizzically I ask, “What am I looking at?”, “All the things we don’t have”, her temper already starting to reveal itself. She’s very intolerant of me sometimes. “How the fuck can I look at the stuff we don’t have?”, I say whilst pushing my bottom lip out with my tongue. We call this a ‘belm’ up north.
OK, I agree that I should just skim the cupboards and fridge to see what we do have, no-one wants to end up with 24 eggs to eat in a week, I’m not Rocky Balboa FFS, but I go shopping and let myself be influenced by the products. I told her this and she replied, “Influenced? You’re not fucking Gustav Klimt!”. She can be a bit of a potty mouth too! But, to explain my point, I bought an aubergine for the first time the other day, and a leek, simply by letting myself be influenced. (Not too sure what I’m going to do with them yet!)
The other big difference is she looks at stuff for hours. If she gets a choice of products that she wants to buy she virtually play ‘Top Trumps’ with their ingredients. I see something that fits the bill I do the same thing that any working class person masquerading as middle class does when they choose wine from the wine list, I never choose the cheapest, I choose 2 or 3 up from the cheapest. However, if Darwin and I aren’t messing about I like to rearrange food to it displays a cheeky message.
This week in Tesco I found...
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| "Sweet Hot Beaver" |
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