The Manager is Special

If there is one thing I learnt from my father, and this was further confirmed during my employment as a buyer, is that you get what you pay for.  The consumer world is a constant battle between buyers and sellers, sellers need to sell and buyers need to think that they are getting a good deal.  And as buyers we've all been caught out at some stage.  When I was a young man there was a menswear store called “The Officers Club” claiming to offer everything with 70% off.  Even the gullible knew it was bullshit but it took Trading Standards 14 years to do anything about it.  I bought a white jumper c/w arm pads and navy paraphernalia in the early 90’s and by the second time I wore it, it had turned into a very shit woolen dress that drooped below the knees.[1]

And there are many retailers today who still try to, and do so successfully, convince customers into thinking they are selling things far too cheaply.  Some do it more obviously than others.  Last night I was in B&M Bargains, (I was asked by Kerry to call in, I wouldn't usually go in by choice!) these lads like to flaunt it.  The first flaunt is in the name, “Bargains”, and it’s written in bright blue and orange writing, and inside the store there are aisles claiming to be “Manager’s Special”.

Firstly, let’s remember our opening thought, ‘you get what you pay for’.  The word ‘bargain’ implies that you are purchasing a product for less than the usual cost, and in some exceptions this may be the case, beans and dried pasta may be cheaper than they are in Asda etc.  But a bargain has 2 main constituents, price & quality, and they are directly linked.  The higher the quality, the higher the price, and the lower the price, the lower the quality.  Only a mad crazy man would sell for less than he purchased right?

Well this is where I think B&M are now trying to bamboozle consumers.  I’m not being cruel here, and I haven’t been in loads of different stores, so it might be only my local store, and all the employees seem to work very hard, but Jesus!  The folk in my B&M don’t appear to be ex-Microsoft or NASA employees and they don’t mind showing it, right from the checkout staff to the manager.  And this is where I think their strategy lies.  People go into the store and are greeted by cheap dried pasta, tins of sardines and soup, and savvy people realise that this is cheaper than Tesco.  They then meet the manager and think, ‘Jeese, he’s a bit special’, and then this is confirmed by the signs all around the store claiming ‘Manager’s Special’.  He’s a mad crazy man, he’s got all the pricing wrong and we are definitely getting a bargain.  Fact is, everything else apart from the sardines and beans is shit and it’s all priced comparatively.  The double bed c/w mattress priced at £69 is spectacularly priced but consequently spectacularly shit.

I had another “Frog Tape” moment last night in B&M.  Walking down one of the aisles I came across little outfits for kids.  I saw some Superman pyjamas for young boys so looked to see if there were any that would fit Darwin.  The ‘2 Years’ size was massive, so I looked for the next size down, which just happened to be 12 – 18 Years (according to the label), not months, years!  I giggled to myself at the incompetence but they were only £3.99.  At the checkout I said to the girl, “My nephew is 17 years old, he will be able to fit into these won’t he?”, and I pointed to the label.  “O, I’m not too sure, I can get my supervisor if you want”.  There was only 1 till open and there was a queue so I declined her offer.  “How tall is he?” she asked.  “22 inches”, I replied indicating the length with my arms like I was describing the size of a fish.  “Yeah, they should fit him”.

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[1]  The Officers Club still exists as an online business today and still offers the tantalizing deal of “Up to 70% off”, it’s their catchphrase now.