Caught Washing my Arse with a Flannel
Darwin learnt to float un-assisted on his back in the swimming pool yesterday much to the amazement of other parents and me. He was replicating the actions of Stickman.
That night in the bath he was doing the same. As I was washing him with some Lush product that smelled absolutely lovely my mind cast back to when I used to have my one and only body wash of the week, and like many kids it was Sunday night in readiness for a week at school. Showers seemed to be a thing of the future then, I didn’t know anyone with a shower, they were reserved for the public swimming baths and continental folk. And I wasn’t afforded the luxury of Lush products, I had to use a scrubbing brush with Imperial Leather soap (sounds posh doesn’t it?) and washing up liquid for the hair. And not the posh stuff either, this was bargain washing up liquid from Graham’s discount store near the market, which I still believe is in Leyland to this day. (You could buy a can of Coke from Graham’s for 10p back then).
We used synthetic sponges in them days to wash with, these aren’t a popular item in the modern bathroom are they? But I found them far more inviting than a flannel. When the flannel started making an appearance I had an instant dislike to it, it was cold to touch and felt un-hygienic. My dad once walked in on me whilst I was in the bathroom. It was another time when I was infected with worms (Threadworms. I think I got them about 3 or 4 times as a kid!) and anyone who has ever had worms knows that it gives you a severely itchy anus. To relieve the itchiness I washed my anus with the flannel, warmed with hot water naturally. It was at this point when my dad walked in. He didn’t say anything, although it felt like he was there for about half an hour at the time, and we never spoke about it again. I bet he never used that flannel again though, and neither did I!
The stuff that Darwin uses nowadays is one fifth of my dad’s weekly wage at the time.
That night in the bath he was doing the same. As I was washing him with some Lush product that smelled absolutely lovely my mind cast back to when I used to have my one and only body wash of the week, and like many kids it was Sunday night in readiness for a week at school. Showers seemed to be a thing of the future then, I didn’t know anyone with a shower, they were reserved for the public swimming baths and continental folk. And I wasn’t afforded the luxury of Lush products, I had to use a scrubbing brush with Imperial Leather soap (sounds posh doesn’t it?) and washing up liquid for the hair. And not the posh stuff either, this was bargain washing up liquid from Graham’s discount store near the market, which I still believe is in Leyland to this day. (You could buy a can of Coke from Graham’s for 10p back then).
We used synthetic sponges in them days to wash with, these aren’t a popular item in the modern bathroom are they? But I found them far more inviting than a flannel. When the flannel started making an appearance I had an instant dislike to it, it was cold to touch and felt un-hygienic. My dad once walked in on me whilst I was in the bathroom. It was another time when I was infected with worms (Threadworms. I think I got them about 3 or 4 times as a kid!) and anyone who has ever had worms knows that it gives you a severely itchy anus. To relieve the itchiness I washed my anus with the flannel, warmed with hot water naturally. It was at this point when my dad walked in. He didn’t say anything, although it felt like he was there for about half an hour at the time, and we never spoke about it again. I bet he never used that flannel again though, and neither did I!
The stuff that Darwin uses nowadays is one fifth of my dad’s weekly wage at the time.
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