Yan, Tyan, Tethera Kebbie

We went to Maryport at the weekend to see my stepsister Paulette and her husband Shaun. They’re utterly beautifully lovely, the pair of them.

We met at a local pub in the town and had one of the best bargain carvery’s I’ve ever had. I’m used to tolerating dried up veg and elements of sub-standard food at such an event, and Kerry once nearly killed someone with a hardened stuffing ball as it shot off her plate, but this was magnificent. The landlord of the pub is quite a ‘character’. He noticed Kerry’s accent wasn’t local and pointed that out. “No, I’m from Oldham” she said. “What? You don’t look like a bloody p*ki” he remarked.

We’re both very aware that Cumbria isn’t as ethnically diverse as we’re used to, and that doesn’t bother me at all, but some of the attitudes are a little right wing of what I feel comfortable with. Ultimately, I want to feel safe, I want the area to be clean, the schools good, and crime at a minimum, and I don’t think that either an integrated community or a white majority is a factor in these matters.

Any road, apart from his little bout of mild racism his carvery was second to none and his pub was very welcoming to us Caucasians.

Afterwards we took a stroll on the dock side and very pleasant it was too. Paulette and Shaun go a long way to making Maryport beautiful though.

I learned a little of the local dialect too. Shaun had made Darwin a kebbie (a walking stick) and I can now count to five Yan, Tyan, Tethera, Methera, Pip. I feel a la’al more Cumbrian now.

"Maryport"