Riding Racers on Grass

Kerry was out in the mountains this morning so when I got a text from Sarah saying they were close by and racing bikes with the kids Darwin and I leapt at the opportunity to meet them.

The roads leading to the course were lined with vans and vehicles all geared up to be mobile bicycle garages. It looked like the bicycle equivalent of Oulton Park when the Superbikes are racing, and although there were no lasses in swimsuits I did nearly get to see a man’s anus as he hosed himself down behind his mobile garage, we definitely saw hairy crack. Darwin pointed at it and ‘moo-ed’.

There was a race already under way when we arrived and Ethan was in it. At first glance it looked like all the kids were on what we used to call ‘racers’, and anyone knows that you don’t take a racer on grass. And for a brief moment I thought that maybe it might be a race for div kids, and any moment in time a massive kid would ride past on a plastic tricycle playing a tune. But it isn’t like that, this is a very serious affair. What I was witnessing was cyclo-cross and these bikes are apparently designed best to suit this kind of racing. There’s a lot I don’t know about cycling nowadays.

The first bike I owned had a solid bar brake system and completely solid rubber tyres. It wasn’t like the inflatable rubber tyre or wire rope cable hadn’t been invented yet, this was just an old bike. And people used to laugh at it but I didn’t care, mind you I was wearing flares and Jesus sandals with paisley purple & yellow socks, I had other things to worry about! This bike did me until I was about 10 at which point I had begun a paper round and had started saving for a new bike. A Viking Warlord 5 speed racer is what my money bought and it served me for the remainder of my childhood. It had mud guards and rear basket holder but obviously I got rid of them right away, ‘I’m not fuckin Mary Poppins!’ I thought.

Ethan & Felix did well and more importantly they enjoyed it. One small girl rode past in tears and I can’t help think that if Ethan and Felix had put that much sweat & tears into it they may have won! (Insert smiley face emoticon here).

The final race was for the men. The last man to pass us rode what looked like to me, a very expensive bike, and one of the crowd shouted, “Ahhh, look where your carbon bike has got you now yer shit bastard!” (or words to that affect), it was our Sarah! And she says I’m the competitive one!

I reckon photographing these regular meets would make a good photography project.

"Felix"

"Boy on a Bike"

"Men on Bikes"

"Mother/Wife or Girlfriend or Family Member or Friend at the finish line"

"The Double Bunny Hop Bit"

"Sarah"