Blasphemous Bird

David Attenborough is a good lad isn’t he?  We started watching his new series last night, Life Story, which began with dramatic shots of Barnacle Gosling chicks leaping 400 feet off a cliff from their comfortable and safe nests to the plains below.

Now Kerry is a mother she has become hyper sensitive to scenes like this.  Even before the first chick had made the plunge her hands were clutched to her face and she was pleading with the chicks to stay.  We then watched as the young bird plummeted down the cliff occasionally smashing its head & body against the rocks.  I was vocally imagining what the experience was like for the bird and saying things like, “Argh”, “Jesus, mi fuckin head” and “Chrissstttttt!”, it appears I also thought that the bird blasphemed considerably!

Kerry’s sympathy turned to anger, luckily not towards me but to the parents of the chicks.  “Why aren’t they stopping them?” she asked.  I tried to explain rationally that this kind of behaviour had been happening for thousands, if not millions of years and had obviously been beneficial for the survival of the species because they are still thriving today.  This explanation bounced of her now rageful state and she replied, “I’ll tell you why they do it, it’s because the parents were made to it as kids and their heads got so bashed about its turned them into fucking retards.  I’d called the social services if I was a gosling.”

“Are you going to be able to watch this series?” I asked.  She looked at me worryingly and said, “No, I don’t think so”.  We did!

"Barnacle Gosling Chick"