The Hit That Went Drastically Wrong

Fat Dan told me a story that made me laugh a lot the other day.  I decided to take a photo to illustrate the story and I may do this for other funny stories I know.

Any road, Dan came out of his door during the week and noticed a commotion going on outside the pub close to his house.  There was a man on the floor being held down by a larger man and the larger man, plus others, were shouting at the floored chap, "Who sent you, who fuckin sent you?".  The man protested his innocence but he wasn't being listened to.  The larger man then dragged him into the middle of the road and pulled down his jeans.  He then took the mans shoes and socks off, pulled off his jeans, ripped the mans boxer shorts clean off without pulling them down and beat him with his own shoes.

After a while the larger man helped the beaten man get dressed (minus boxer shorts of course) and then took him home.

It wasn't the violent act that made me laugh it was the thought of the man going back to the person who sent him.  I imagined the scene like this:

Mr Big:  So, is he dead?
Hitman:  Erm, not quite.
Mr Big:  Right, O.K.  What did you break then?  Can he still walk?
Hitman:  Erm, didn't really break anything and he can still walk a bit.
Mr Big:  You're a very compassionate man.  I presume you insulted and embarrassed him in front of his wife and friends in the pub then?
Hitman:  Well not exactly.
Mr Big:  So what did happen?
Hitman:  Well, he ripped my underpants off, beat me up with my own shoes and then took me home.  Isn't that what you wanted?

You know when you see a magician pull a table cloth off a table leaving everything in tact and it makes you want to try it yourself?  Well I tried to get Dan to let me try and rip his boxer shorts off whilst he was wearing his trousers.  He didn't consent.

"Hitman coming home after a bad day"