A 21st

I'm old already! In fact I think I always have been.

I went to a 21st the other weekend, Je-suss Christ! In High School the cool kids got invited to parties but I was never a cool kid, I always had to be in by 9 at the latest. And then the weeks after there were tales of 'Spin the Bottle' and Shelley Pressman (or some other girl) getting fingered, and it all sounded very exciting, but I was never a part of it.

And now I don't understand the attraction of parties or the etiquette associated with them. The party invite said "Starts 7:30pm" (Why doesn't everyone use the 24hr clock???) and so I turned up at 7:30pm. The Bunster and I were the first people to turn up. The Grandparents of the host didn't turn up until half an hour after me!!!

During the first hour the DJ played music from the 60's and 70's at a comfortable volume that allowed me to talk about Clarks shoes with an old boy, and we managed to carry this conversation on for about 45 minutes. At the end of it the old boy asked a girl in 6 inch heels that made her permanently tip toe, "are they orthopaedic shoes love?", we both laughed. And then the modern music started 50 decibels higher. For the rest of the evening I couldn't hear a damn word anyone was saying, not that I made this aware to anyone, I quietly smiled, nodded my head and looked serious whenever I thought it was necessary.

The buffet started at 10:15pm!!!! I hadn't had anything to eat knowing that there was a buffet, I was fucking starving! I swear, if that buffet had been delayed another minute Bob Geldof and Midge Ure would have been writing a song for me. And the clothes people were wearing? The lads were wearing jeans that looked like Incontinence Pants designed by MC Hammer, you could almost see there anuses, and the girls, 2 words for the future, Pigeon + Feet.

I took some photos for the girl that was having the party playing with her best friend.



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