Killing Tuna the Right Way

Kerry just called me and asked me to get some Kirkland Tuna from Costco on the way home.  I asked her why I should get that particular brand and she said that she doesn’t like the way the others catch their fish.

While she was blabbering on about stuff I got thinking about catching Tuna.  Sure, you don’t want to be catching all sorts of stuff like Mermaids and Dolphins, and killing em for the sake of a couple of Tuna, and you don’t want to be catching all the Tuna at once, there has to be an element of sustainability here. 

So I figured, using a bit of bread as bait, you throw it onto the surface of the ocean and when the Tuna sticks its head up to eat it a sniper on the back of the boat fires a round from his rifle and kills it.  I ran this by Kerry and she said it was a good method.  I then thought for commercial purposes you’re going to need to kill a few more than 1, so how about using hand grenades?  She dismissed this idea indicating that other animals may get killed by the blast.  For my final idea I reverted back to the solitary kill.  What if a man stood at the back of the boat holding a small fish (or bread!) as bait, and when the Tuna came up for it the man grabbed it by the beak and bashed it over the head with a baseball bat?  I was surprised that this idea got shelved as well!

"Tuna Mermaid Woman"