So, it is possible that one day a man named Jesus was born, maybe on the 25th December or Julian equivalent, or thereabouts, who may have been born in a stable near or in Bethlehem about 2000ish years ago, I can believe that. Was he the son of God? Definitely not! Did he perform miracles? Definitely not! Did he do “magic tricks”? Possibly!
When I was in Saudi Arabia several migrant workers cleaned the offices we were working in. I had a paper bag one day and because neither of us spoke each other’s language I thought I would communicate visually and threw an imaginary object into the air. A second later I clicked the fingers of the bag holding hand to give the illusion something physical had just landed in it. They were bewildered and got me to do it several times over. They gathered more workers to come and witness the miracle and I was hailed a hero. They bowed to me the next day and that’s where the fun ended, shortly afterwards I revealed how the trick was done and I was returned to mortal status again.
Jesus started with the whole 'Water into Wine' thing, a warm up to the 'Feeding of the 5000' gig. And up until today I wasn’t aware that there was a 'Feeding of the 5000' AND a 'Feeding of the 4000' trick. Even Copperfield only did the 'Statue of Liberty' gig once! Once he did the 'Walking on Water' thing I think he should have come clean. As we saw with David Blaine, he was great in the early days but then he turned into a weirdo dick.
But JC couldn’t leave it. He had to make things more mental, tell folk he was the Son of God, that whole Heaven & Hell thing, roam about in undies and doing various card tricks. If he’d have given it all up and left Jerusalem for Lapland to live a life of debauchery with some sex midgets I think I’d believe in both Jesus and Santa a bit more.
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| "Jesus Past" |
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| "Jesus Present" |
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| "Jesus Future" |
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