Fanny Stuff and Tit Wipes
Products that are found in the "Feminine Hygiene" department of a Supermarket shouldn't appear on a Mans shopping list! What are they getting at when they call it "Feminine Hygiene"anyway? Fanny stuff and tit wipes? I think I'd much prefer the department to be called "Fanny stuff and tit wipes" actually.
I'm trying to be all grown up about this but I can't bring myself to get enthusiastic about a conversation regarding menstruation. Therefore it's no surprise that I can't bring myself to learn about the technical specifications of sanitary aids, or at least so I thought.
On the shopping list it said, "Asdas own brand sanitary towel (blue & lilac packet)" and next to it was a small drawing of little drops, 4 of them on top of 3. I do know that there are different strengths to the sanitary towel, like when cars having different engines and that, and I knew she was relating to her "flow". (Jesus!!!)
The problem now though was that I was in Tesco, and Tesco don't sell Asda's own brand. Not only that, the aisle and "Feminine Hygiene" shelves were full of women! 2 women in their 40's were looking at every product on offer on the shelves. I could have understood it if they were much younger but come on! I quickly worked out that these women will have had approximately 1500 periods (don't even like that word!) between them (30 years *12 cycles(or that when it's relating to what it is!)*2 women) surely they must know what product suits them best by now? As they browsed I stood patiently waiting my turn like some depraved tampon pervert.
Once free I quickly looked for a 7 drip product like Kerry had indicated. "Shit!", the drips only go up to 6! WTF? Had she cut her Jugular I thought? I couldn't spend too much time anyway and found one that had 5 drips, I quickly threw it in the trolley and hid it beneath stuff.
I didn't get the right stuff. Kerry quickly pointed out that she isn't a 7 drip woman, she simply was trying to say 3 or 4 drips, OBVIOUSLY!!!! And named brands use chemicals in their products, Asda don't. And there wasn't just sanitary towels on the shelves, there were a load of other products too, my mind must have developed some kind of protective amnesia. But other products may have included, panty liners, tampons, menstrual cups and douches! Maybe the old women just pissed themselves every now and then?
I'm trying to be all grown up about this but I can't bring myself to get enthusiastic about a conversation regarding menstruation. Therefore it's no surprise that I can't bring myself to learn about the technical specifications of sanitary aids, or at least so I thought.
On the shopping list it said, "Asdas own brand sanitary towel (blue & lilac packet)" and next to it was a small drawing of little drops, 4 of them on top of 3. I do know that there are different strengths to the sanitary towel, like when cars having different engines and that, and I knew she was relating to her "flow". (Jesus!!!)
The problem now though was that I was in Tesco, and Tesco don't sell Asda's own brand. Not only that, the aisle and "Feminine Hygiene" shelves were full of women! 2 women in their 40's were looking at every product on offer on the shelves. I could have understood it if they were much younger but come on! I quickly worked out that these women will have had approximately 1500 periods (don't even like that word!) between them (30 years *12 cycles(or that when it's relating to what it is!)*2 women) surely they must know what product suits them best by now? As they browsed I stood patiently waiting my turn like some depraved tampon pervert.
Once free I quickly looked for a 7 drip product like Kerry had indicated. "Shit!", the drips only go up to 6! WTF? Had she cut her Jugular I thought? I couldn't spend too much time anyway and found one that had 5 drips, I quickly threw it in the trolley and hid it beneath stuff.
I didn't get the right stuff. Kerry quickly pointed out that she isn't a 7 drip woman, she simply was trying to say 3 or 4 drips, OBVIOUSLY!!!! And named brands use chemicals in their products, Asda don't. And there wasn't just sanitary towels on the shelves, there were a load of other products too, my mind must have developed some kind of protective amnesia. But other products may have included, panty liners, tampons, menstrual cups and douches! Maybe the old women just pissed themselves every now and then?
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| "Bleed monthly? Sometimes piss yourself? Or simply have sweaty tits? You need the "Feminine Hygiene" Dept." |
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