Sheps Hollow

On the last day of the holiday we made our way over to Surrey to stop at a B&B whilst we attended Simon and Thea's wedding.  It had been a long night for both Kerry and I with Mr Chuchy being bothersome and the drive to Surrey was much longer than I expected.  I only imagined it to take an hour or so but England gets a lot thicker the further south you go so it was quite deceiving.

When we got to the B&B I knocked on the locked door and the conversation went something like this:

EC - Elizabeth Cattell

MB - Me

EC - Who is it?

MB - Michael Baeron.  I have a room reserved for this evening?

EC - I don't know you.

MB - We spoke on the phone about 2 months ago?

EC - What's your name again?

MB - Michael Baeron.

EC - I don't remember talking to you.

The door is still locked!

MB - You said you had 3 diaries and one was French?

EC - Yes, that's right.  What's your name again?

MB - Michael Baeron.

For what seemed 5 minutes or so there were noises from the other side of the door and then it opened.

EC - What's your name again?

MB - Michael Baeron.  I booked a room for my Fiance, young son and myself.

EC - I don't have any record of you.  I have a girl called Sarah stopping tonight...

MB - Yes, she's my sister.  She has two boys and her husband Chris is coming too.

EC - Who?  Where are they stopping?

MB - Here. (I looked puzzled because she meant what part of the B&B are they staying, they have 2 out-houses you see)

EC - And a girl called Emma with 2 tiny babies.

MC - Yes, she's my sister.

EC - I thought you said the other girl was your sister?

MC - Yes, they're both my sister.

EC - Well I don't have any record of you.

At this point I was about to lose it.  I was tired and frustrated at the thought of having to find some where to stay so late in the day.  Then she said:

EC - Have a look in this diary will you, my eyes are fucking terrible.

It was her use of the word "fucking" that made me smile.  She was a posh woman and definitely eccentric and I had come to like her with her use of one swear word.

MB - You have "Davina" written in the diary but the number besides her name is my number.

EC - O that's a relief.  I've had to give my bed up 3 times this month through double booking.  Where the fuck did I get "Davina" from then?

MB - My son is called Darwin, maybe there?

EC - That's a beautiful name.....

And the conversation went on.  She asked me my name about 10 more times but I didn't care, I liked the crazy landlady.  The photos of her children were as if she was a Spencer (the Lady Diana type, not the Frank!) and she had topless photos of herself on display.  She definitely needs an assistant.

The B&B is fantastic, a 16th century cottage in fine grounds and Elizabeth Cattell the landlady is nothing short of delightful.

"Elizabeth"