Calf Hey Reservoir
I think my body wants to hibernate, I was knackered today. Eventually Kerry and I decided to take the dog for a walk, it went something like this.
On the way to the reservoir I was explaining to Kerry how I realised that BST lasts longer than GMT. "Well of course it does", she said slightly condescendingly. She then went on to explain how she knew this, not using words so much, mainly circles made by the hand. I laughed. "If you could go inside my head you'd understand", she said. I replied, "if I could go inside your head I imagine I'd shout "Hello, Hello, Hello", "Is there anybody there, there, there?"", and this kicked off a little bit of tourettes in Kerry.
Asking for some change for the car park she said, "I'm going to stick this bag of coins up your arsehole". Barley then proceeded to do a really big poo. "I'm going to punch you in the ovaries you little bitch", Kerry said to me. Barley did another large poo, this time vertically against some tall grass. "Hold this fat anus" she said as she handed me the lead to clear up more dog waste. The dog then did a medium sized poo next to some other dog poo that an irresponsible owner hadn't cleared up. "Oy Fanny, hold this", I was then given ownership of a dog toy. The dog poos from this point were all runny but to be honest i think she deserved it.
Towards the end of the walk Kerry was carrying a massive bag of dog crap, in fact I think it weighed more than the dog. And despite my protests she kept banging the bag into my face. But we both enjoyed the walk and I wondered if the reservoir was actually broke.
On the way to the reservoir I was explaining to Kerry how I realised that BST lasts longer than GMT. "Well of course it does", she said slightly condescendingly. She then went on to explain how she knew this, not using words so much, mainly circles made by the hand. I laughed. "If you could go inside my head you'd understand", she said. I replied, "if I could go inside your head I imagine I'd shout "Hello, Hello, Hello", "Is there anybody there, there, there?"", and this kicked off a little bit of tourettes in Kerry.
Asking for some change for the car park she said, "I'm going to stick this bag of coins up your arsehole". Barley then proceeded to do a really big poo. "I'm going to punch you in the ovaries you little bitch", Kerry said to me. Barley did another large poo, this time vertically against some tall grass. "Hold this fat anus" she said as she handed me the lead to clear up more dog waste. The dog then did a medium sized poo next to some other dog poo that an irresponsible owner hadn't cleared up. "Oy Fanny, hold this", I was then given ownership of a dog toy. The dog poos from this point were all runny but to be honest i think she deserved it.
Towards the end of the walk Kerry was carrying a massive bag of dog crap, in fact I think it weighed more than the dog. And despite my protests she kept banging the bag into my face. But we both enjoyed the walk and I wondered if the reservoir was actually broke.
 |
| "Calf Hey Reservoir" |
 |
| "Tourettes Kerry" |
Comments
Post a Comment