North of the Balkans

So I was stood outside a hotel in a big city late at night in Europe having a cigarette before going to bed. A lady approached me and asked for a light. "Its a shame you can't smoke in the rooms isn't it?" she said. To be honest with you I wasn't really bothered, but I just nodded and agreed making idle chit chat. She told me she worked in "Public Relations" for the hotel and she could make it possible for me to smoke in the room, "150 for full sex or 200 for sexy massage with the boobs" she proposed. "Euros or the local currency" I asked. (The conversion rate for the local currency meant you could get lots for 1 euro!) And I don't know why I asked, I wasn't haggling it was just out of curiosity! Her face dropped and she sighed, "Euros" she said.

Times like this make me realise how "British" I am. I began feeling quite nervous being in the presence of a prostitute, I don't think I've ever spoken to one before, they're mysterious creatures to me.

"What do you think of my proposal then?" she said sweetly. O my god! She was about to do the hard sell, I could feel it. Another prostitute turned up. "You ever a sex with a local girl?", she asked. "No", I said. "You are a virgin", in a much louder voice, "Have you had sex with 2 girls at the same time?" she asked. "I couldn't do it", I claimed, "I have a very early morning and I have a girlfriend at home". "It's not wrong if you pay", they said in unison.

I went to bed. (without the prostitutes!)

"Sunrise in the City"

"Face on a Plane"