Nativity Cock and Balls

I had been looking forward to this event all year, the Nativity. This year Darwin had been given a speaking part, the Innkeeper. The school had sent home the lines about a month ago so we could help him practise. I got very excited. The lines were “I’m sorry, we have no room. You will have to stay in the stable.” I decided to get all Olivier on his ass, this wasn’t just his line, it was our line.

Obviously it was all about annunciation. Firstly let’s re-write the lines and become forthright. “We have no room. YOU, can stay in the stable.” With a point to the virgin Mary to emphasize ‘YOU’. And this needs to be said in the style of Brian Blessed as his character in the Trojan Women. The school was making out this was more of a part for John Le-Mesurier, I didn’t see it like that! I repeated my direction to him over a number of weeks.

On the day he ignored my textual changes but he delivered the line with vigour and clarity. I felt very proud and was once again brought to tears.

We bought the video too. On the video there’s an extra section where they interview kids in the class. Throughout his interview I expect Darwin was showing his cock and balls which consequently had to be covered up with a graphic. Again, I’m very proud.