Jonesy Gets Stuck Down The Bog
I remember being in 3rd year Juniors and the task for the day was to make a newspaper front page. It could contain any stories or advertisement but it had to be designed in a way to represent a front page. Everyone was stuck for an actual story, Pope Paul IV had recently died but none of us were bothered by that, so we all racked our brains for a potential story.
I know kids are cruel, and it hurts me more than ever when I hear stories of cruel behaviour, but Dave Jones was the unusual one in our class. He was a little peculiar and what we would describe then as ‘soft’. As a 46 year old father I want to go back in time and hug and protect him.
Any road, Dave Jones had asked for permission to go to the toilet and had been gone for 15 minutes. Paul Smith then needed to go to the toilet and was given permission to do so. 5 minutes later Paul Smith ran past the classroom window like a Gazelle on speed. He kicked open the classroom door and shouted “Jonesy is stuck down the bog!”. It took a while for Jonesy to re-appear but when he and his tear stained face did it was much to the excitement of the other boys. After much quizzing it transpired that he didn’t actually get stuck down the bog, it was just that the poo wasn’t coming out of his bum properly.
Guess what was the main story for the headline newspaper was that day? I went with the straight forward headline of “JONESY GETS STUCK DOWN THE BOG”.
Any road, this week my female boss blocked the toilet with what she described as “A massive turd”. It’s a consequence of IBS apparently. I loved her open admission of it. Later on in the day I printed off the 7” record sleeve of The Sweet’s hit record ‘Blockbuster’, made a subtle amendment to the title and stuck in on her door.
I know kids are cruel, and it hurts me more than ever when I hear stories of cruel behaviour, but Dave Jones was the unusual one in our class. He was a little peculiar and what we would describe then as ‘soft’. As a 46 year old father I want to go back in time and hug and protect him.
Any road, Dave Jones had asked for permission to go to the toilet and had been gone for 15 minutes. Paul Smith then needed to go to the toilet and was given permission to do so. 5 minutes later Paul Smith ran past the classroom window like a Gazelle on speed. He kicked open the classroom door and shouted “Jonesy is stuck down the bog!”. It took a while for Jonesy to re-appear but when he and his tear stained face did it was much to the excitement of the other boys. After much quizzing it transpired that he didn’t actually get stuck down the bog, it was just that the poo wasn’t coming out of his bum properly.
Guess what was the main story for the headline newspaper was that day? I went with the straight forward headline of “JONESY GETS STUCK DOWN THE BOG”.
Any road, this week my female boss blocked the toilet with what she described as “A massive turd”. It’s a consequence of IBS apparently. I loved her open admission of it. Later on in the day I printed off the 7” record sleeve of The Sweet’s hit record ‘Blockbuster’, made a subtle amendment to the title and stuck in on her door.
Comments
Post a Comment