Non-Iron, My Arse!

I bought 2 new shirts yesterday, one casual and the other for work.  What the fuck are the people who pack work shirts thinking of?  In this day and age of lean manufacturing do we really need all the extra shit that comes with a work shirt to make it look nicely packaged?  The casual shirt simply had a price tag on it but the work shirt, fuck me!

First I had to unravel the manufacturers tag.  It was tempting to pull it off but I know this would have resulted in me dismembering the new shirt, instead I had to carefully decipher the knot and demonstrate neat skill with the hands, it was 7 o’clock in the morning too!  Then I removed the 2 stickers that told me the shirt size, and just in case I forgot to shirt size is also sewn into the label.  Then there are the 3 part plastic bits that make the collar rigid, the inner ring, the outer ring and a plastic bit for the top button.  I then removed 2 clips that held the shirt together and removed a cardboard sheet and piece of paper that makes the shirt rigid.  All that time and effort, what’s the point?  The casual shirt, which was more expensive than the work shirt, simply had to have the price tag removed and it was ready to go.

BUT, that isn’t the most annoying thing about the shirts I buy.  Every morning I iron a fresh shirt.  I used to iron naked but recently I’ve taken to wearing underwear, not because I occasionally scald my nob on the ridiculously hot steam filled pipe (it’s one of those irons that is connected to a tub of water) but because Mr Pig has been taking an interest in it.  When Kerry sees me naked she often spanks my penis, and it’s very rarely pleasurable, and Piggy likes to grab his own penis and stretch it whilst screaming.  I don’t want him to think that any of this activity is acceptable on my penis.  However, back to the really annoying shirt thing, every morning as I iron the shirts I’m told by the label that this is a ‘Non-Iron’ shirt.  It what world is this a non-iron shirt?  If I was to turn up to a military inspection in any shirt I have without ironing it the shirt would be ripped off my back and shoved up my arse.

"Non Iron Shirt c/w Some of the Packaging"