The Moustache & Beard

This whole moustache thing is difficult.  Is it possible to have the perfect moustache for all seasons?  I mean it’s OK for Michael Baeron to have an over curly moustache, in fact it works in his favour, but for the other persona I have, the one who has to work and that, I don’t want people to think that the moustache is a comical thing.  I've already had the comment, “O, you've gone for the comical moustache thing!”.  Imagine if I was to say that to a woman about her new hair style?  Or the woman who had breast enhancement treatment, “O, I see you've gone for comical tits!”

Yesterday I donned the moustache wax for work and made it curlier than it had ever been in the workplace.  As soon as I walked into reception there was a comment and a laugh and that’s not a good thing.  I don’t mind being greeted with a “Pip, pip old boy” and asked about the minimum length of an air strip that a Spitfire would require, so I need to go through a moustache calibration program.

A recent study concluded, “The way you gain people’s trust is to earn it over time by repeatedly proving that you deserve it. That, or grow a beard.” (but it doesn't work if you’re trying to sell underwear apparently!)  And also the tests were done by men with neatly trimmed beards; you can’t go all ZZ top and expect people to trust you.  So at weekends I’m happy to go mad with it but during the working week I think I need to go for width and only a slight curl, that should provide the right balance to make people trust and respect me.  O, and I think I need a few friends who smoke pipes!  (not crack pipes!)

"Moustache slightly above the Curly Threshold"