Had My Pubes Ripped Off
Back in 1988 the Army Squadron I was in was chosen to carry out tests on a new NBC suit, Nuclear, Biological, Chemical suit. The old suit, a camouflage charcoal lined suit, one which is still used today, isn’t that waterproof but the ones we were trialling were 100% Gortex. We were made to walk in a lake to trial its waterproof-ness!
The complications of NBC protection often come when you need to put anything into your body (food, drink etc.) or when you need to extract anything from your body (pee or poop etc.). With the old suit you simply take it off, poop or pee quickly, and put it back on again. Simples! On 2 occasions however I have witnessed people poop onto their NBC suit and squash it into their body when they put it on again, and I’m 90% sure they didn’t do it on purpose.
The new suit came with a whole new poop and pee procedure. There were solid bracelet like rings around the wrist area which allowed the wearer to pull his arms inside the suit without exposing any part of his body to the elements. There was a pocket on the chest with a zip both on the outer and inner parts of the suit so items could be passed from inside the suit to the outer, again without exposure to the contaminated world. Therefore, if you needed to poop you would put a bag in the pocket and zip it up. You would then pull your arms into the suit, remove the bag from the pocket, poop into the bag and pass the bag out to the nuclear world beyond your suit. I doubt many people would be complaining about the litter situation after a nuclear attack so it would be OK to throw the bag into a tree, like the dirty irresponsible dog owner does at the bottom of our hill!
To pee was a completely different and alien situation. Prior to putting the suit on you had to have a condom glued onto your penis. This had a tube coming from it which ran down your leg to an exit near the knee. The plan was to wear the suit for 5 days on an army exercise. Whenever I was on exercise my body knew about it and it refused to poop, I could get away without pooping for about 4 days, which is remarkable considering my pooping habits of nowadays (already discussed), peeing was a different matter. I didn’t pee until the night time and I really couldn’t hold it in much longer. When I began to pee there must have been a kink in the pipe and consequently the condom began to fill up like a piss balloon and I couldn’t stop either. I frantically tried to find the kink but before I could the balloon had expanded so big that it exploded in my suit, ripping off a considerable amount of pubic hair and covering me in piss!
It was a cold night and the initial shower of pee was quite a pleasant warming experience. The remainder of the exercise was a nightmare.
The complications of NBC protection often come when you need to put anything into your body (food, drink etc.) or when you need to extract anything from your body (pee or poop etc.). With the old suit you simply take it off, poop or pee quickly, and put it back on again. Simples! On 2 occasions however I have witnessed people poop onto their NBC suit and squash it into their body when they put it on again, and I’m 90% sure they didn’t do it on purpose.
The new suit came with a whole new poop and pee procedure. There were solid bracelet like rings around the wrist area which allowed the wearer to pull his arms inside the suit without exposing any part of his body to the elements. There was a pocket on the chest with a zip both on the outer and inner parts of the suit so items could be passed from inside the suit to the outer, again without exposure to the contaminated world. Therefore, if you needed to poop you would put a bag in the pocket and zip it up. You would then pull your arms into the suit, remove the bag from the pocket, poop into the bag and pass the bag out to the nuclear world beyond your suit. I doubt many people would be complaining about the litter situation after a nuclear attack so it would be OK to throw the bag into a tree, like the dirty irresponsible dog owner does at the bottom of our hill!
To pee was a completely different and alien situation. Prior to putting the suit on you had to have a condom glued onto your penis. This had a tube coming from it which ran down your leg to an exit near the knee. The plan was to wear the suit for 5 days on an army exercise. Whenever I was on exercise my body knew about it and it refused to poop, I could get away without pooping for about 4 days, which is remarkable considering my pooping habits of nowadays (already discussed), peeing was a different matter. I didn’t pee until the night time and I really couldn’t hold it in much longer. When I began to pee there must have been a kink in the pipe and consequently the condom began to fill up like a piss balloon and I couldn’t stop either. I frantically tried to find the kink but before I could the balloon had expanded so big that it exploded in my suit, ripping off a considerable amount of pubic hair and covering me in piss!
It was a cold night and the initial shower of pee was quite a pleasant warming experience. The remainder of the exercise was a nightmare.
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