Gay!

Occasionally, when anyone puts a Facebook status up expressing any kind of positive emotion or feeling I usually comment “Gay!”.  This started in the play ground at High School and I’m pretty sure it isn’t P.C. any more.

I’ll state here that I don’t believe gay people are over emotional or that it is wrong, inferior or un-natural to be gay.  I strongly believe that all people should be treated and accepted equally and that some gay folk are emotional and some aren’t.  In fact (and this isn’t a “some of my best mates are gay” statement) the least emotional and socially unresponsive person I have ever met was gay, a bit like a reverse Julian Clary.  (Funny story to follow!).  And I believe being gay is equally as natural as not being gay.

But that aside, I was brought up in the John Inman, Larry Grayson, Charles Hawtrey & Kenneth Williams era and I had no proof that gay people existed until my mid 30’s.  Until then these characters were the only example of what to expect when I did meet the first real gay person, and quite disappointingly most of them aren’t like that at all!

The funny story I alluded to was this.  I used to work with a very quiet chap.  He didn’t converse much with his peers and kept his private life very secretive.  He never attended social functions with the remainder of the team and very rarely joined in ‘banter’ in the office.  He came into work at the time he was required to, did exactly the amount of hours required and then went home again.  His work was always satisfactory and he went about his business like a ‘grey man’.  He left the company  before any one else leading up to its closure.

One morning, several weeks after the Grey Man had left, as I sat down in my office a colleague called and said, “I think you need to come in here and see this”.  I walked into the office and one of his colleagues showed me a piece of paper left in the old drawers of the Grey Man.  It said in very squiggly red writing, “I hate you all” and there was a drawing of me about to ram a knife into my face with the writing, “Mick is a fat pig”.  I laughed lots knowing full well that he would have never have done anything like this and instantly knew that this will have been something created by one of his evil peers.  And I was right!

Any road.  The other week I received an anonymous text that simply said, “Gay!”.  I wasn’t bothered by it but it drove Kerry mad.  And then a week later I received 4 more anonymous texts saying the same thing.  I presumed it was Jacko so I photoshopped an image of him enjoying some quality time with another chap and replied to all texts simply attaching the image and saying, “I think you’ll find this is gay!"

Jacko & Raul