Invented a New Game
Kerry gets very embarrassed if I begin to talk loudly or inappropriately in public, or if I try to be 'funny', to which a good indication if I'm being funny is for her to say in a rather strict manner, "you're not funny!".
Anyway, we were in Boundary Mill, a large open plan retail centre in Colne on a rare afternoon without Piggy. We were buying clothes, some casual 'tops' for me and a dress for her. I often struggle with buying the right size of garment as I suffer from 'size denial'. OK, I'll accept that I'm not a medium any more but I wouldn't consider myself as 'Extra Large'. After 'Extra Large' the retailers choose 'Extra Extra Large' and go right up to XXXXL. Isn't that just bad grammar? Surely we have words to describe increasing sizes of largeness for men. 'Mega Large', 'Massive' & 'Jabba' would be some suggestions I put forward.
The changing rooms are scattered about the large retail centre and consist of a small cubicle with a curtain barrier which I found myself in with about 5 t-shirts, all of which were a size too small. Kerry was on hand and offered to swap them for larger sizes. As she disappeared I slipped/squeezed into her dress to make her smile when she returned, and as I was waiting for her to return I thought wouldn't it be funny if I fell right out of the dressing room whilst dressed in womens clothes? I dismissed this idea though as any movement whilst I was in this dress would result in a David Banner/Hulk transformation error. So I came up with a calculated alternative.
I removed my boxer shorts and began to try on a new shirt. Whilst Kerry was waiting outside, and without a care in the world for whoever else was outside, I did a backward roly poly through the curtain and into the busy retail area giving the impression that I had lost my balance during donning my socks or something. I was in tears laughing, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I wanted her to film it but she refused as I had already done it twice and the second time resulted in her walking off embarrassed.
I'm going to do this a lot more in the future.
Note to self: Do not search "Naked Roly Poly" and look at the images on a Google search engine on a PC at work!
Anyway, we were in Boundary Mill, a large open plan retail centre in Colne on a rare afternoon without Piggy. We were buying clothes, some casual 'tops' for me and a dress for her. I often struggle with buying the right size of garment as I suffer from 'size denial'. OK, I'll accept that I'm not a medium any more but I wouldn't consider myself as 'Extra Large'. After 'Extra Large' the retailers choose 'Extra Extra Large' and go right up to XXXXL. Isn't that just bad grammar? Surely we have words to describe increasing sizes of largeness for men. 'Mega Large', 'Massive' & 'Jabba' would be some suggestions I put forward.
The changing rooms are scattered about the large retail centre and consist of a small cubicle with a curtain barrier which I found myself in with about 5 t-shirts, all of which were a size too small. Kerry was on hand and offered to swap them for larger sizes. As she disappeared I slipped/squeezed into her dress to make her smile when she returned, and as I was waiting for her to return I thought wouldn't it be funny if I fell right out of the dressing room whilst dressed in womens clothes? I dismissed this idea though as any movement whilst I was in this dress would result in a David Banner/Hulk transformation error. So I came up with a calculated alternative.
I removed my boxer shorts and began to try on a new shirt. Whilst Kerry was waiting outside, and without a care in the world for whoever else was outside, I did a backward roly poly through the curtain and into the busy retail area giving the impression that I had lost my balance during donning my socks or something. I was in tears laughing, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I wanted her to film it but she refused as I had already done it twice and the second time resulted in her walking off embarrassed.
I'm going to do this a lot more in the future.
Note to self: Do not search "Naked Roly Poly" and look at the images on a Google search engine on a PC at work!
Comments
Post a Comment