The Committee

It was Eleashas 16^th on Saturday and there was a celebration at Brockholes Bowling Club in Yorkshire.  It was a lovely affair with kids running round like mental, Eleasha looked beautiful and constantly infected everyone with her smiles and loveliness like she always does.  Piggy got excited and occasionally busted out some moves on the dance floor, and he even began to sing when that shit ‘Frozen’ song came on, I nearly cried.

When we got settled I went to the bar to get some drinks, Kerry said she wanted a Disaronno and lemonade.  ‘Jesus’, I thought.  We weren’t just in a club run by a committee, we were in Yorkshire too.  The bar staff had a combined age of 180 and there was only 2 of them.  When I asked for Disaronno I got the same reaction off the barmaid as I would have if I had just jumped up on the bar, pooed into a pint glass, stuck a little cocktail umbrella in it and offered to share it with her.  They didn’t sell Disaronno!  Lager, bitter and the staple spirits only.

Like any establishment run by a committee there were signs all over the place instructing non-members what they can’t do.  Long serving committee members I imagine have their own drinking vessels and special reserved seats in the club, and woe betide anyone who sat in that place, especially if you were a non-member or you were a member who had been a member longer than the member whose seat it belonged to.

Any road, I liked it and I’m sure that establishments like this won’t be around in years to come so we should enjoy em whilst they’re here.

"Piggy giving Leah a Cow Kiss"